


Left of Center

by bjfic_archivist



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Drama, Future, Points of View, Spoilers, What-If
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-04
Updated: 2006-10-30
Packaged: 2018-12-27 13:56:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 18,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12082422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bjfic_archivist/pseuds/bjfic_archivist
Summary: Justin is in New York, and Brian is in Pitts, life goes on until Brian receives the news that he may have more then "2" babies.  Post 513 (starts 3 months after)





	1. Out of Service

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive). To preserve the archive, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in September 2017. I posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/bjfic/profile).

  
Author's notes:

Okay, I know not much happens in this chapter, except Justin thinking.  But stick with me, I'll get to Brian tomorrow.  This plot bunny has been in my head for a long time just never had any time to write it until now.  
Also can be found at: <http://experimentalbj.livejournal.com/>

* * *

It's strange.  This isn't at all how I imagined my life would be.  I thought that at 23 I would be two years into a job I either really loved or really hated paying back tons of student loans and still living in the Pitts.  I guess that was just how the niave 15 year old me thought.  No one ever thinks that their lives would be completely flipped upside down at 17 to the point where they end up living with practically strangers.  Sure, I knew who they were, their names but other then that I really had no clue.  Brian was just the hottest guy in the world who devirginized me, Deb the loud mouth red haired "freak" who was willing to take on a wayward youth, and Linds and Mel the two lesbians who loved each other. After a while, though somehow they stopped being strangers and became my family.  They took me in time and time again and they loved me.  

Taking a drag from the cigarette I've been holding for the last five minutes, I can't help but sigh.  New York is great, don't get me wrong.  It's everything you could want and more.  It's exciting, it's busy, it's creative, it's inspirational.  It's just not where I thought I'd end up.  Then again I never thought I'd be a college drop out either.  

Stubbing out the half smoked cigarette, I close the window and head back towards the couch and drop down on it.  A laugh escapes me, just thinking of what Brian would say if he saw my apartment.  Most of the stuff has come from the goodwill or the streets.  New York is expensive - that's a given, I just never thought it'd be this expensive.  Five dollars for a fucking box of cereal, yeah fucking right.  

It's been 3 months since I moved here.  I'm the cliche starving artist, but I do admit I've done some of my best stuff here in this small closet they call an apartment.  But it does the trick.  I have a bed, couch, kitchenish area and a tv.  That's all I need besides my art stuff.  

Things are going good, or as good as can be expected.  I'm receiving small recognition in the free daily rags like the Metro and amNewYork.  Nothing huge, but I'm getting there.  

Brian calls sometimes.  After his whole "it's only time" speil I didn't really know what to think.  But then again that's Brian.  Telling me he loves me and offering marriage and then the next second nudging me (okay he didn't have to nudge that hard) to New York.

Sighing, I pick up my cell and press 1 - my speed dial to the illustrious Mr. Kinney.   
   
It rings once...twice...."The number you have dialed is out of service.  For operator assistance please stay on the line.  Message 315-"

I quickly disconnect the call and dial Brian's number manually.

Again it rings once, twice..."The number you have dialed is out of service.  For operator assistance please stay on the line.  Message 315-"

_Shit_ I dial a third time and get the same message.

_What the fuck?_      


	2. Chapter 1

Brian's day had gone from bad to worse to shit in a matter of hours.  That's even before he made it to Kinnetic.  It had been raining when he had left the loft and he ruined his favorite Gucci shoes by stepping right into a fucking lake, well more of a puddle really, then his car decided to stall three times over before finally starting, _shit_ he'd have to get that checked out tomorrow.  Then on his way into the office when he finally thought it safe he dropped his brand new cell into more water causing it to die.  

"Brian, Remson called this morning.  Wants to meet." Cynthia informed him handing him a cup of coffee.

Brian shrugged.  "Check my schedule and when I'm free give them 15 minutes.  Those fuckers."

The blonde woman let out a chuckle and went on her way.

Sighing, he walked into his office, setting his briefcase and coat on the chair.  

Immediately he dialed the cell company asking them to temporarily stop his service until he could get another phone.

"Hey Bri, got some fun stuff for you to fill out.  Performance appraisals, pay checks, insurance." Ted rambled off setting the stack in front of his boss.

Brian rolled his eyes and picked up a pen and started thumbing through the documents.  

Looking up he noticed Ted still standing there.  "Don't you have some work to do?" 

Ted just let out a laugh and left him alone.

"Brian?" Cynthia poked her head into his office.

Throwing his pen down, Brian stood up.  "For five fucking minutes can everyone just leave me the fuck alone.  Five fucking minutes that's all I ask!"

"Christ Brian, there is a young woman here to see you."  

Brian groaned.  "Tell Daphne that whatever she thinks I did to Justin, I didn't."

Cynthia shook her head.  "Not Daphne.  It's a different girl.  Says she needs to see you right away."

"Fine, let her in." He gave up.

His assistant nodded and led a young girl into the office.  

"Mr. Kinney?"  She asked nervously.

Brian nodded.  "That's me."

"I'm Elizabeth Connors."

He nodded at that.  "So Elizabeth Connors, what can I do for you?"

She shifted from one foot to another not really looking up at him.

"You can sit down, you know."

Nodding, Elizabeth took a seat.  "I don't really know how to say this.  A little more then 5 years ago my boyfriend at the time and I wanted to have a baby, but I couldn't get pregnant so we went to the -"

Brian stood up.  "I don't mean to be rude Ms. Connors but I am really busy, and I really don't have time for this."  He headed to the door.

"Wait!  Let me finish.  It's taken me two years to get up the nerve to do this." She pleaded.

Nodding, Brian walked back over to his desk and sat down.

Elizabeth ran a hand through her hair and shifted nervously in her seat.  "We went to the Reproductive Health Specialists Fertility clinic and miracle of miracles I got pregnant."  She paused for a second and pulled out a picture, handing it to the ad executive.  "That's my baby, Marissa.  she's really the most amazing kid in the world."

Wondering where this was going, he handed her the photo back.

"Mr. Kinney, a year after Marissa was born I got a letter from the clinic saying that somehow the samples got mixed up and that the father that my child was suppose to have wasn't.  I sued the clinic and after I won my case I hired a private investigator and found out what probably happened.  My then boyfriends name is Peter Kinsey.  The lab attendant probably pulled your file accidently instead of his."  She paused again. 

Brian was trying to make sense of what was going on.  "That's...I don't know what you're trying to pull here.  The clinic used my "sample" and my son was born.  And how the hell told you...God...it was my business why I was there, it was confidential."

"I...I know this sounds far fetched, but my PI found out about you.  He also found out the clinic doesn't use all of the sample to impregnant a woman because they need to test the it too."  Elizabeth stopped.  "I think that...well I'm pretty sure that...that Marissa is yours."

The brunetts eyes widened in shock.  "What!?  Are you fucking with me?  You thought I'd just say okay, and a write a check right?  That's what all this is about, inventing a sob story that I'm the _father_ of your child so I will dish out money.  Do you do this to all the successful men in Pittsburgh?" He laughed.

"You know what?  I told you because if it were me I'd want to know if there was a child out there who was mine!" She felt tears rush to her eyes.  "Look, take this picture.  Look at her, I mean really look at her.  All I'm asking is for a DNA test.  That's all.  Please think about it Mr. Kinney.  Here's my contact info.  Please just...just think about it." She rushed out of the office.

Brian didn't know what to think as he sat there staring into the face of the little brown eyed girl.


	3. Chapter 2

  
Author's notes:

The Sun & Co. is actually based off my fave cafe/coffee shop in NYC.  I'm not for certain of the name, but I believe that's it.    
As always can be found here as well if you like LJ better: <http://experimentalbj.livejournal.com/>

* * *

Justin tucked a piece of hair behind his ear as he stared into the latest piece he was working on.  He was still a bit worried about not being able to get ahold of Brian on his cell.  Glancing at the clock the digits stared back at him.  _5:42_.  The older man wouldn't be home from work until at least 6:30 or even 7:00.  Once more he turned back to the work in front of him, but nothing came except more anxiety.  Groaning with frustration, he threw his brush down on the easel and walked over to the counter, picking up his cell.

"Hello?"

"Michael?"

"Justin?"

Justin almost laughed.  "Yeah it's me Mikey.  Look I was just wondering if you had spoken with Brian lately."

He could hear Michael nod.  "Yeah.  Last night.  Why?"

"No reason.  I just tried to call his cell this morning and got a message that it was out of service."  Justin recounted.

"It was working last night." 

Biting the inside of his cheek, Justin nodded.  "Okay, well thanks.  Probably misdialed or something."

"You okay?" Michael asked.

"Yeah.  Talk to you later Mikey."  He disconnected the line.

Justin walked over to the counter again and picked up his pack of cigarettes, taking one out and heading back towards the window.  He inhaled the nicotine and held it for a few seconds before breathing again as he tried to make sense of why Brian's phone would be out of service.  

" _Fuck_ Maybe Brian was ignoring him.  Maybe something bad happened that Michael doesn't even know about, maybe-" Justin stopped thinking, he was only freaking himself out.  

Glancing at the clock he noticed that only 7 minutes had passed.  _Shit_.  He grabbed his keys and cell and headed out of the small apartment and stood on the doorstep of his building, just watching tourists and residents mull around the East Village.  Tourists alwasy came there to look at how the "bohomeian/starving artsy" type lived, but the price of apartments and living was anything but.  

Things didn't work out so well with Daph's friend, and so after a week he moved out and found his own place.  The RAGE money came in real handy for that.  

"Hey Jus!" A girl approached him.

Smiling, Justin waved.  "Hey Tonya." 

"Where you headed?  I thought you'd be locked away in your room, letting the creativity role."  She smiled.

Justin shook his head.  "Needed a break.  Thought i'd join the land of the living for a while." 

Tonya grabbed his arm.  "Well now that you're out you can come to Sun & Co. with me."

"But that cafe is all the way down by Wall Street.  Can't you just go to Starbucks or something?" He feigned a groan.

"Shut up bitch, you know they are the only ones who make my coffee the way I like it and are cheap.  Fuck Starbucks and their $10 a cup." She replied leading them down to the subway trian.  

In twenty minues the two were seated in the small cafe. 

"So spill." She ordered taking a sip of the hot liquid.

Justin shrugged.  "Nothing."

"Don't give me nothing.  I didn't drag your ass all the way down here and buy you the best coffee ever to be told nothing."  Tonya smirked.  

The blonde man sighed and took a drink of his coffee.  "It's really nothing.  Kind of stupid really." 

"Then why do you look like I told you your last painting sucked more dick then you." 

"God! Ton!" Justin laughed.

She gave him an innocent smile before becoming serious again.  "Taylor?"

"Justin!  Tonya!"  They heard a voice scream behind them as Justin let out a sigh of releif.

"Hey Ant." Justin replied scooting over to make room for the other boy.

"Anthony." Tonya said.

The other man took a seat next to Justin.  "So what's up?"

"Not much.  Just trying to get Taylor here to tell me why he looks like something kicked him in the teeth."  Tonya told him.

"When you're a psychiatrist are you going to speak to your patients that way?" Justin replied.

"Only you my dear love, only you." 

Anthony turned towards Justin.  "So?"

"Why are you all of sudden so interested in my life?"  The blonde asked.

The man next to him shrugged.  "Cause our lives are boring?"

Justin gave up, their was no way of getting out of it.  Especially with these guys.  

"Fine.  I called Brian this morning and his phone was out of service."

"That all?  God Jus, I thought it was something huge like he broke my heart or you couldn't get the right colored paints or something.  So your boyfriends phone is out of service."  Tonya laughed.

"I'd have to agree with her on this one." Anthony smiled.

"Fuck you guys are no help."  Justin groaned.

Tonya laid her hand on Justin's thigh.  "We try." 

"J if you're that worried just call him at home." Anthony said trying to be a little helpful.

"I'll do it." Tonya volunteered reaching into Justin's pocket for his phone.  

"Hey!" Justin tried to get it back from the smaller girl. 

She just laughed and searched for a few minutes.  "Bri's cell, no...home.  Well I'd assume you wouldn't have your apartment on speed dial."  She connected the call.

"Hey give that to me."  Justin grasped his cell back.

"Jus?" Brian asked confused.

"Yeah.  Sorry my friends thought it would be funny to dial you." Justin glared at the girl.  "Hey why was your cell out of service this morning?"

"Dropped it into some water, had to temporary cancel service until I could get another." 

Justin heard him rustling some paper.

"Oh, well then I'll let you get back to what you're doing." Justin replied.

"Hmm." Brian was obviously occupied.  

"Brian?"

"..."

"Brian?"

"..."

"Brian!?"

"Hmm?"

"Uh nothing, I'll let you go.  Later." Justin disconnected the call before Brian had a chance to reply.

"So?" Anthony asked, coming back to the table with his own drink.

Justin shrugged.  "He sounded off."

"It's probably nothing." Tonya shrugged.

"Yeah I hope so." Justin replied with an ever growing sinking feeling in his stomach.  

Something wasn't right.


	4. Chapter 3

  
Author's notes:

Just an FYI - I don't really know how long it takes to get from Pitts to NYC so I guessed. :)   
Also grocery shopping at 1 am is totally somethng you can do in the city.  I've actually done it once or twice and had similar conversations with people I know. lol.  :)

* * *

Brian went through the day in a trance, not really able to concentrate on anything.  He signed the forms Ted had dropped off, took conference calls, hired two new interns, okayed the new Eyeconics boards, so to anyone else he may have appeared on top of his game.  To him he was just keeping busy.  At 5:00 when he couldn't come up with something brilliant for Brown Athletics he decided to call it a day. 

He drove to the loft with the little girls face still in his head and as soon as he was inside dug up his old files from the clinic.  _How the fuck could someone make such a huge fucking mistake?_   He couldn't comprehend it.  

The phone started to ring, making him jump and drop the documents he was studying.

"Hey!" Brian heard and then some rustling.

"Jus?"

"Yeah.  Sorry my friends thought it would be funny to dial you.  Hey why was your cell out of service this morning?"

Brian had completely forgotten about that.  "Dropped it into some water, had to temporary cancel service until I could get another." He replied looking through more files, not really sure what he was looking for but anything that could explain this.

"Oh, well then I'll let you get back to what you're doing." 

"Hmm." Brian replied finding another form from the clinic.  _Brian Aiden Kinney_ He read his own handwriting on the form they had made him and Linds fill out. 

"Brian?"

He pulled out the contract from the clinic and added it to his pile.

"Brian?"

Another paper came out congratulating him and Linds on their pregnancy.  

"Brian!?"

"Hmm?" Brian replied forgetting that Justin was still on the line.

"Uh nothing, I'll let you go.  Later." 

"La-" But it was too late.  The line was already dead.

Brian didn't think much of it and picked up the pile he had made, poured himself some Beam and sat down on the sofa.  

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck_.  What the hell was he going to do?  Some fucking girl he never met comes and tells him he's the father of her child.  How the hell is he suppose to take that?  

He took a sip of his drink and threw the papers onto the coffee table out of frustration. Brian sat for a few more minutes before he couldn't take it anymore.  Grabbing his keys off the counter he left the loft and just started driving.  _What if the kid really was his?  What the hell was he going to do?_   

Brian would never admit it to anyone but deep down inside when he and Justin were going to get married he had thought of the idea of possibly starting a family.  Everyone thinks of him as an asshole, conceited, materialistic, unloving, a bastard but even an unloving conceited materialistic bastard asshole deep down really buried down inside can want to settle down.  How the fuck was Justin going to take the news if it were true?  No he couldn't tell Justin.  Knowing him he'd be one to buy a one way ticket and be on the first plane back to Pitts without a second thought.  No, Justin deserves to be in the city.  He deserves all the fucking success that the world can offer him.  

Before, the brunett knew it a sign read "Welcome to New York City."  _Fuck_ Even without being concious of the fact somehow he ended up making his way to Justin.  _Fuck_ He thought about turning around but he was already here so he might as well pay the younger man a visit.  He paid an ungodly amount of money to park his car and hailed a cab to the apartment. 

He glanced at his watch _1:00_ am.  Suddenly the events of the past day left him exhausted and he was on the verge of letting sleep take him when the cabby pointed out they were there.

Throwing the guy his money, he climbed out and made his way up the stairs to the apartment doorway.  He rang up to Justin's place a few times, but he got no reply.  _shit_ What was he going to do now?  

"Brian?"

Brian turned around to see the blonde coming up the stairs, a bag of groceries in his hand.  

"Hey." Brian smiled.

Justin pulled his keys out of his pocket and let them in.  "What are you doing here?"

"Nothing.  Can't I just pay you a visit?"

Shrugging, Justin led them up the five story walk up.  "You know I love it that you would come see me, but it's fucking one in the morning."

"I could ask you why you're grocery shopping at this hour."  Brian replied following Justin into his tiny apartment.  

Justin shrugged again.  "I was hanging out with Ton and Ant and lost track of time.  Didn't want to come home to an empty fridge.  Good thing about New York is that you can practically buy almost anything at any time - day or night."  

Brian nodded and watched Justin put things away.  

"So you still didn't answer my question." Justin remarked when he was done and turned to Brian who was leaning on the counter.

"If you don't want me here, I can go." Brian faked hurt and started to walk towards the door.

Justin lunged at him.  "No, it's just...I'm a little shocked is all."  He wrapped his arms around the taller man.

"I don't know.  I just felt like coming to the big Apple." Brian told him, kissing the top of the blonde head.

"At 1 in the morning."

"I was out anyways."

"Brian it's like, God it's like a five or six hour drive." 

"So?"  Brian shrugged pulling away.

Justin caught his hand.  "Are you okay?"

"Yeah.  Where's your bed?" Brian smirked.  

"My, my Mr. Kinney don't I even get a proper kiss.  What kind of guy do you think I am?" Justin laughed as Brian covered his lips.

Brian grabbed Justin's ass.  "An easy one."

"Fuck you!" The blond laughed.

"No I think I'll be fucking you in a minute." Brian growled once inside the bedroom.

Justin nipped his neck.  "What are you waiting for?"

With that Brian threw the younger man on the bed.  Justin looked up at him with lust and in need in his eyes and Brian felt himself growing hard immediately.

Slowly, seductively he shed his shirt and pants and yanked Justins off him.  In a matter of seconds Justin was completely naked and Brian was entering him.

"God Brian, God!" Justin moaned as Brian picked up the pace.  He let out all the emotions he had been holding in since his visitor and pounded into the blond.

Justin was writhing under him and Brian knew he was about to cum.  "Cum for me Justin.  So then I can cum in your tight little hole.  Come on Justin." Brian bit his nibbled on his earlobe causing the younger man to spill himself.  Brian followed suit a few minutes later and both fell asleep moments later.  Brian still inside Justin, their cooling bodies causing them to stick together.  But neither of that mattered.  Brian was holding Justin again and for a moment nothing else mattered.  
  
 **-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~**

"Morning." Justin said softly bringing a cigarette up to his lips.

Brian groaned and sat up.  

"So you going to tell me what's a matter?"  

"God, Justin can we stop the inquisition at this hour."

Justin laughed.  "It's 1:00."  

"Fuck.  I have to call cynthia, Ted.  Fuck Cynthia probably shit when I wasn't there this morning." Brian recounted reaching for his clothes.

Justin stood up and put out his cigarette. Brian noticed he was already dressed.  "Don't worry.  I called her this morning and let her know to reschedule anything you had today.  So?"

"Nothings wrong.  Why do you always assume there's something wrong." 

"Cause Brian Kinney doesn't drive through the night to come to New York when he has work in the morning."

Brian walked over and wrapped his arms around the younger man.  "Nothings a matter.  I'm going to take a shower."  

Justin sighed as he watched the retreating back and after a few minutes followed him.

"So you're not going to tell me?"

Brian was just getting into the shower.  "Justin.  Nothings wrong."

The blond sighed.  "Fine.  I'll go make some coffee."

"Seriously.  Nothings wrong." Brian repeated.

Justin nodded.  "Okay."  Even though he knew something wasn't okay.


	5. Chapter 4

Brian let the hot water pour down his body as he tried to figure out what he was going to do.  He had to get a DNA test to make sure that this Elizabeth wasn't just trying to screw him over.  If it were true then what?  He pushed those thoughts aside as his mind wandered back to the blond in the kitchen.  Justin had a life here, friends, an apartment.  He couldn't ruin that for the younger man.  This is where Justin needed to be.  To flourish.  To be an artist.  

He shut off the water and toweled dry, momentarily forgetting that all he came with was the clothes he was wearing, Brian grabbed his crumpled pants from the floor and threw them on followed by his now wrinkled Armani shirt.

Stepping out into the living room, he noticed Justin sitting on the couch.  "Hey.  Coffee?"  Justin motioned towards a cup sitting on the table.  

Brian nodded and picked up the mug.  

"You can sit down." Justin smiled watching Brian.

"On that thing?  You've got to be kidding me.  Looks like you dragged it out of the trash."  

Justin shrugged.  "I'll have you know I paid for this.'

"How much?  A quarter?"

"Twenty bucks." The younger man giggled.  "Come on sit down."

Brian glared at the furniture in disgust before taking a seat next to Justin.  

"So how long are you planning on staying?" Justin remarked.

"Anxious to get rid of me?"  The brunette commented.

"No, just want to know how long I get you to myself." 

Brian shrugged.  "Today's, what?  Friday?  I should head back Sunday night."

Justin nodded.  "So what do you want to do today?"

"What do you normally do?"  

The blond shrugged.  "Paint, hang out with Ant and Ton."

"Wow!  You're really living it up here." Brian teased.

"Shut up!"  Justin playfully shoved him.

"Well I have to get some clothes.  Can't walk around in this all weekend." 

"Good luck with that." 

Brian turned towards him.  "Oh, no you're coming with me."

"You and me shopping for clothes usually ends up with blood shed.  No thanks." Justin finished off his coffee and started to get up to put it in the sink.

The older man stood up and followed Justin, wrapping his arms around the blond.  "I'll make it worth your while." He whispered into Justin's ear and cupping his crouch.

"Well when you put it that way..." Justin whispered turning around and touching his lips to Brians. 

~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

Three hours and one pissed off blond later, Brian was finally finished.  

"About fucking time." Justin muttered as Brian was handed back his credit card.  

Brian just shrugged and took his purchases.  "It's New York Armani.  How could I not resist?"

"New York Armani, Pittsburgh Armani what's the difference?"  Justin asked exasperated.

"Quality." Brian replied with a smirk.  

Justin rolled his eyes at that remark.  "You."  He laughed.

The brunette just gave him a classic tongue in cheek look.

"So why are you here?"  Justin asked casually as he hailed a cab knowing there was no way in hell he was going to get Brian on a subway train.

"Back to that are we?  Fuck.  I'll never come to New York again then." Brian was sick of that question.  But mostly frustrated that he couldn't tell Justin the real reason he was there.  "Can't we just enjoy the weekend?" 

"Fine." Justin snapped getting into the cab.  Brian followed suit with a huff.

The ride back to Justin's apartment was tense.  Justin knew something was wrong with the older man, but for some reason Brian was pretending as if nothing was off.  That this was a normal visit that just happened to see Brian arrive at one in the morning.

After arriving back at the apartment and Justin fighting with Brian over who would pay the driver they were standing outside the building.

"Brian?  You know I love that you came to see me.  Okay?  I just, I guess I'm a little surprised.  Okay?"  Justin said softly trying to salvage whatever he could.

Brian nodded and pulled the younger man to him.  "So what do you want to do for the rest of the weekend?"  

Justin shrugged.  "You want to meet Ton and Ant?"

"I'd rather stay here and fuck your brains into oblivion."  

"Hmmm, as much as I'd love that, I promised them I'd make an appearance at Sun tonight."

"Sun?" Brian raised an eyebrow.  "A club?" 

"Not even close to one.  Cafe we found." Justin said sheepishly as Brian gave him a look.  "Aww, come on.  We stay half an hour and then we come back here and you can do whatever you want with me."

"Anything?"  Brian asked amused.

"Yes." Justin whispered pressing their lips together and sliding his tongue into Brian's mouth before pulling back.

"Deal.  Let's go." The brunett smirked.  

Justin suddenly found himself being pulled towards the door.  "Brian!  We don't have to leave this second."

"Yeah, but the sooner we get there the sooner we can cum."

"...back." Justin finished.

"Nope.  The sooner we can cum." Brian smiled.

The blond couldn't help but smile back.  "Alright then.  Let's go."

Brian nodded feeling himself suddenly become taken by the younger man.  He knew what he had to do and that was making enjoying the weekend so much harder.    

  
~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

After sitting for an hour with Justin and his friends, Brian felt out of place.  They had such simple relationships.  Nothing complicated, no agenda's towards each other.  Just comfort.  Brian was slightly jealous.  They didn't expect anything out of one another like his friends.  Sure he loved Linds and Michael dearly, Deb as if she were his own mother, Emmett, even Ted.  But they all expected him to be something.  An asshole, a jerk, a boss, a bank, the cause of all problems.  Justin's friends just expected one another to be there for each other.  

"...next show."  Brian looked up to see the two staring at Justin.

Justin shrugged.  "It's coming along."

"What's coming along?" Brian blurted.

"Justin's show." Tonya told him.  "You know the one in like two months."

Brian furrowed his brow.  "No I don't know.  Justin?  What show?"

Justin held up his hands.  "It's nothing.  Just something small at a gallery at Chelsea. They are only featuring two of my works."

"Why didn't you tell me?"  

Anthony and Tonya found this a perfect time to make their exits.  "I'll call you later hon." Tonya smiled and waved.

"See ya Jus." 

Justin turned towards Brian.  "It's really nothing.  I know you're busy with your new accounts."

Brian just continued to stare at him.

"Really, it's nothing."  

The older man still didn't say anything.

"We'll talk about this later." Justin gave up.

Brian nodded.  Justin definately had his own life here with friends who genuinely cared about him.  He would be alright.  He really would.  Brian just needed to sort this thing out with Elizabeth and then hopefully he would be too.  Except that after this weekend... _fuck_ Brian didn't want to think about it.  He had one more day with Justin and he was going to fucking enjoy it.  



	6. Chapter 4 cont.

  
Author's notes: So yeah this was suppose to be the beginning of chapter 5, but it goes so much better at the end of chapt 4.  So this is the actual ending to Chapt. 4.  


* * *

Saturday came and went without any huge blowouts.  

"You know you can keep some of your stuff here.  For next time you visit." Justin told Brian as he put the last of his clothes into the Armani bag.  

The brunette shrugged.  

"You want something to eat?  I can make you something before you go." Justin suggested.

Brian shook his head.  "I probably should be getting back to my car so I can drive all through today."

The blond nodded.  "I can go with you to get your car." 

Again the older man shook his head.  "No, it's okay.  You stay here.  Work on your art.  You have a _show_ soon."

Justin smiled sheepishly.  "I'm sorry I didn't tell you.  It really isn't anything big.  But I'll call you once I know exactly when it is."

Brian nodded.  "You're doing well."  He commented.  "Well besides living in a shit hole."

"It's not that bad and I'm surviving, hardly call that well." Justin laughed.

The brunette pulled Justin to him.  "Don't sell yourself short.  You came here without a clue and..."

Justin pulled back, slightly concerned.  "Brian?"

"I'm just... I'm proud of you." Brian mumbled picking up his bag.

"Brian?" Justin prompted again.

"Well I should get going." The brunette added as if he didn't hear the blond.

Justin just stood for a minute as Brian brought their lips together.  

"Call me when you get home?" Justin asked.

Brian nodded.

"I love you." The younger man added softly.

Brian nodded again.

"Later?"  It was more of a question.

Brian gave him yet another nod as he left the apartment.

Justin stood dumbfounded for a second.  _What the fuck just happened?_  



	7. Chapter 5

  
Author's notes: So sorry it took so long to update.  Just moved across four states so I didn't have time to update until now.  Enjoy :)  


* * *

As soon as Brian stepped into the office Cynthia was there.  

"Leo Brown wants to meet, you have an appointment with Remson this Wednesday at 2 and Justin called."  She informed him, handing him the messages.

Brian groaned at the last message and made his way into the office.  shutting the door, he took a seat at his desk and pulled out Elizabeth's phone number.  It rang three times before she picked up.

"Hello?"

"Umm, yes is Elizabeth Connors available?"

"Yes, hold on second."

Brian heard some shuffling and a faint _thanks mom_.

"Hi, this is Elizabeth."

Brian cleared his throat.  "Ms. Connors, this is Brian Kinney.  You came and saw me on Thursday."

"Yes.  Mr. Kinney how are you?" She asked sincerly.

"I want to do a DNA test that way we both know for sure."  He told her straight forward.

"Of..of course." 

"Okay.  I'll make the appointment and have my assistant confirm with you the time and place." Brian hung up.  

After making an appointment with whom Brian deemed trustworthy and experienced, he had Cynthia call Elizabeth with the information.

"You want to tell me what that was about?" She questioned. 

"Stay out of it." Was all he told her.

Cynthia shrugged and left.

Brian glanced at the phone debating on whether or not to call Justin.  Not won out and the ad man engrossed himself in his work.

Ted popped his head in a few times as did Cynthia and overall it was just a normal day at Kinnetic.  

When Brian got back to the loft there five messages in total.

_Brian, it's me.  Just ya know checking in.  You never called me last night.  Umm yeah so just call me._

Beep

_Brian it's me again.  Still haven't heard from you.  I know you're at work and I called but Cynthia said you weren't in yet._

Beep

_Brian it's Michael.  Call me._

Beep

_Brian it's me yet again.  Just ya know let me know when you get this._

Beep

_Brian it's Debbie.  Dinner my house Thursday.  Be there._

Beep

_Umm yeah..._

The last one was Justin again.

_Fuck_ Brian whispered walking over to his liquor cart and pouring himsel a nice glass of Beam.

He had made the appointment for the DNA test on Friday.  Fuck he couldn't even imagine having another kid.  And what did Elizabeth expect him to do?  Be dad?  Be a financial support?  Be nothing?

_Shit_

The girl still lived with her mom and she didn't look much older then Justin.  What the hell was she doing with a kid?

_Fuck, fuck, fuck it all to hell_

The phone started ringing again and Brian had the urge to rip the damn thing out of the wall and chuck it across the room.

_Brian it's me again.  Would you please call me?_   Justin sounded panicky.  Brian shrugged it off and decided it would be a perfect time to get high and rolled himself a joint, poured another Beam and settled in waiting for everything to go away. 

He started laughing uncontrollably once the effects started to take him.  This was just too fucked up.  Him with three babies.  Hil-fucking-larious.  What was he going to do?  Nothing.  Right now the world was calm and funny and not complicated.  Here life was easy.  Life was hillarious.    



	8. Chapter 6

Justin sat in the middle of the cafe by himself.  He had been staring at his cell for the past twenty minutes. It was Friday and Brian still hadn't called him back. 

"Hey Jus." 

Justin glanced up.  "Ton."

"What're you doing?"

The boy shrugged.  "Thinking."

"Heard from Brian?"

He shook his head.

"Why don't you call him again?"  She suggested.

"I've already left him tons of messages."  

Tonya took a seat next to him.  "So what're you going to do?"

"Fuck if I know."    
   
Tonya smiled.  "I know.  Why don't you come with Ant and I?  We're heading up to Boston tomorrow."

Justin shrugged again.  "I-"

"Come on Taylor.  You need a break.  I'm sick of watching you mope around all week."  She pleaded. 

"I-"

"Say you're coming with us."

"Tonya."  He whined.

"Justin."

"Fine." He gave in.   

"Good." She smiled. "Ant rented a car so we'll be at your place around 11ish.  Kay?"  

Justin rolled his eyes.  "I can't believe I'm doing this."

"Just relax.  Have fun.  Fuck a million guys and forget about ol' what's his name."

"I still love him, Ton.  We're still together...I think."  He trailed.

Tonya nodded.  "I know.  He's probably just been busy."

"Look if i'm going to be heading out with you guys I better get packed, right?"

"Right." Tonya said wearily, worried about her friend.

Justin smiled.  "11ish tomorrow."

"See yeah then." She smiled back as the blond rushed off.  

Tonya noticed that he had left his cell on the table.  "Hey Jus..." She started but he was already out the door.  She shrugged and figured she'd give it to him tomorrow.

The small brunett sat in the cafe for a long time.  She couldn't help but feel sorry for Justin.  Brian seemed like a nice enough guy and it was obvious he cared deeply about the blond.  But she remembered studying cases like this as psychology intern.  It almost always turned out that the significant other was cheating.  She couldn't do anything but listen in those cases but she could do something about this.

She flipped through Justin's address book and found the number to the loft.

"Hello?"  A female answered.

She was a little taken aback.  "Umm, I'm sorry I think I have the wrong number.  I'm looking for Mr. Brian Kinney."

"Yeah.  He's here.  Hang out a sec."  

Before Brian came to the phone, Tonya had already hung up.  _Fuck_   That's the last thing she expected.  Brian was cheating on her friend with a....a... _woman_.

~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

Justin absent mindedly threw clothes into his backpack.  What the fuck was he thinking? Going to Boston?  Not that he didn't love hanging out with Tonya and Anthony.  Just what the fuck?  Things were so screwed up right now.  Last weekend was so good, they were together, and now...now Brian wouldn't even return a fucking phone call.

He promised himself he wouldn't call Brian again.  Not until Brian called him, but then he found himself digging around for his cell.  _Shit_ Now he remembered.  He left it at Sun.  And he didn't have a landline.  He hoped Tonya picked it up.

Maybe the cancer had come back.  But Brian knew better, didn't he.  He would have told Justin. Wouldn't he?  What if he had...gotten something.  God, Justin didn't even want to think that.  He didn't want to acknowledge that.   

The canvas across the room caught his eye.  He hadn't painted in over almost a week.  

Shit, shit, shit.

He walked over to the easel and picked up the entire thing, throwing it across the room. His frustration with the whole thing was beyond reason as he started picking up random objects and just chucking them where ever.  Well fuck Brian if he wasn't going to call him.  Fuck him.  Fuck it all to hell.  Fuck their relationship.  Fuck....just fuck it. 


	9. Chapter 7

The office was small with a bitch receptionist who kept stealing glances at Brian.  He couldn't help but look down at his watch.  Elizabeth was five minutes late.  

Sighing, he picked up an old magazine off the coffee table and flipped through.  What did he care that Britney was fucking Kevin?  Or that Justin and Cameron were still together.  He threw the magazine down and glanced at his watch.  She was seven minutes late.  He would wait three more minutes and if she didn't show up, he was out of there.

"Mr. Kinney, Dr. Masterson is a busy man."  A nurse said coming out into the waiting room.  

Brian nodded.  "I-"

"I'm so sorry I'm late, Mr. Kinney.  Marissa spilled syrup all over herself and I had to give her another bath." Elizabeth rushed into the office.  

"Are you Elizabeth Connors and Marissa Connors?" The nurse questioned.

Elizabeth nodded.  

"Well then would you all please follow me." The nurse instructed and Brian couldn't help but stare at the little girl in Elizabeth's arms.  

~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

After the nurse had done her job, and taken the samples she instructed the three to wait for Dr. Masterson.

"I'm going to use the restroom before he comes.  Are you okay to watch her for a moment?" Elizabeth asked.

Brian could only nod as he watched the little girl swing her legs back and forth on the examining table.  

Once Elizabeth was gone, Brian didn't know what to say.

"Are you my daddy?" The little girl asked looking up at him.

Brian was at a loss for words.  "Why do you think that?"

Marissa shrugged.  "Cuz mommy says that my daddy is really tall."

"Umm, well what do you think?"  He didn't know how to respond.

The little girl nodded.  "You seem okay." She smiled and went back to swinging her legs back and forth.

Brian thought he was going to explode.  A huge part told him to run, run and never look back.  But a tiny part, the teeny tinniest part wanted it to be true.  

"Did he come yet?" Elizabeth questioned pulling him out of his thoughts.

He could only shake his head.

The group sat in silence before the doctor came in seven minutes later.

"Well, I should have the results within 24 - 48 hours.  I'll give you a call when they do, so you can come in.  Alright?"

They nodded.

~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

Brian walked out to his 'vette in a trance.  

"Hey!" He called out to Elizabeth.

"Yes Mr. Kinney?"

"Brian.  And would you two like to come over to my place?" He asked much to his own surprise.

Elizabeth shrugged.  "Why?"

"Because I'd like to get to know you better.  Just in case..." He trailed.

She shrugged again.  "Sure." 

"Okay, I live on Tremont.  Just follow me." He replied getting into his vehicle. 

  
~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

  
"Is this neighborhood...safe?" Elizabeth asked as they rode in the elevator.

He nodded.  "Yeah." 

"Mommy?" 

"Yes honey?" 

Marissa looked at Brian before whispering loudly.  "I have to go potty."

"Well we're almost to Mr. Ki- Brian's apartment." She smiled at the man.

Brian couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle.  "We're here."  He commented as the elevator came to a stop and they followed him to his door.

Sliding it open, he heard Elizabeth let out a gasp.  "Your place is gorgeous."  

He smirked.  "Let me show you where the bathroom is." 

The little girl smiled and put her hand in his.  Shocking Brian.

He relented and held back as he led her to the bathroom.

Elizabeth couldn't help but take in the room.  He sure did have a taste for expensive furniture.  Walking over to the desk she couldn't help but notice a picture.  It was of Brian and another man.  A blond.  They looked happy and unaware that a photo was even being taken.  

The phone rang startling her into almost dropping the frame.  She held onto it as she made her way over to the phone.

"Mr- Brian do you want me to answer it?"  She hollered.  When she received no answer, she picked up.

"Hello?" 

A woman was on the line. "Umm, I'm sorry I think I have the wrong number.  I'm looking for Mr. Brian Kinney."

Elizabeth shook her head.  "Yeah.  He's here.  Hang on a sec."  She glanced once more at the picture before setting it down in it's original place.

The woman took the phone and headed in the direction that she saw Brian go.  A few seconds later she found him helping Marissa to wash her hands.  "Brian, you have a phone call."  She felt stupid for answering it by the look on his face.

He grapsed the phone out of her hands.  "Yes?"

"..."

"Hello?"

"..."

"No one's on the line." He told her.  "Why did you anwer my phone?"

She shrugged.  "I'm sorry.  Look I'll take Marissa and we'll go."

Brian brought a hand to his face.  "No.  You can stay.  Just don't answer my phone." He half smiled at her.  "Why don't you take her and go wait for me in the living area."

Elizabeth nodded and grabbed her daughters hand.

Brian watched them for a second before scrolling down on the caller id.  It was Justin.  He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.  He just needed a little more time before he could...shit before he could tell Justin.  

~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

"So, Elizabeth.  What do you do?" Brian asked joining them.

The young woman shrugged.  "I waitress right now."

"Marissa, I have some toys for my son over in that box.  Why don't you go play?" Brian suggested pointing to the toy box that sat in the corner of his loft.

The little girl jumped up.  "Cool!"

"You still live with your mother?" 

"Umm, Brian...I don't think that's....any of your...business." She squeaked.

He shrugged.  "I have to wonder if this was all a creative plot to get me to pay for your kid."

"Brian, I...after _he_ left me I didn't know what else to do.  I mean what 17 year old can raise a child on their own without a job?"  

"Why did you two want a baby at 17?" He asked softly.

She shrugged.  "We were stupid.  We wanted a family.  He promised me...So we forged our parents signatures and went to the clinic."  

"And?"

"And the rest is history." She explained.  

Brian nodded.  "I have a son, Gus." He pulled a picture out of his wallet, handing it to the girl.

"He's adorable." Elizabeth commented handing him back the photograph.  "Can I ask you something personal?"

The brunette shrugged. 

"I saw a picture on your desk of you and another man.  Is he...your...are you together?" She whispered.

"He's my fiance." Brian said without thinking.  "Well was." He went on to say wondering why he told that to an almost complete stranger.

"My brothers gay." She told the man.  "So I don't...it's not..."

Brian gave her another half smile. 

"Well Marissa and I should be going.  Marissa, come over here and say goodbye to Brian." 

The little girl jumped up and ran to him.  "Bye Brian.  I really wants you to be my daddy." 

He smiled at that.  "Why?"

"Cuz you have toys and is nice." She gave him another smile and took her moms hand as they left the loft.

Brian couldn't help but feel a hundred emotions run through him.   


	10. Chapter 8

The trip to Boston was uneventful.  Justin slept most of the way there.  

"Hey Jus, we're here."  Ant anounced from the drivers seat.

Justin groaned and rubbed his eyes.  "Where exactly is here?"

"My brother Tim's apartment.  Him and his girlfriend went to Seattle to visit her parents this weekend and he said we could use it and hang out."  Anthony explained.

Tonya smiled back at him before opening her door.  "Come on."

Sighing, he followed them.  This was going to be a long weekend.

"So, you guys up to going out tonight. Tim said there were some cool clubs around."

"Gay clubs I assume?" Tonya smirked dragging her bag into the apartment.

Ant shrugged.  "No, straight ones.  I thought Justin and I should convert to tits.  What do you think Jus?" He joked.

Tonya smacked him in the arm.  

"So you up?"  Anthony turned towards the blond.

Justin shrugged.  "Sure.  Where can I drop this?"  He asked pulling his bag tighter over his shoulder.

"In the room down the hall and to the right.  I hope you don't mind, but you and I are bunking together.  Ton you get the girlfriends room which is the second door on the left."

Justin shrugged again and headed in the direction.

When he was out of ear shot, Anthony turned to Tonya.

"What's up with him?"

"Brian didn't call."

"Oh.  Ouch." Ant replied.

Ton pulled Anthony towards the kitchen.  "Jus left his phone at Sun yesterday and I called Brian."

"You what?!"

"Shh..."  Tonya put her hand over his mouth.  "A woman answered."

"What?!" Ant shrieked again.  

"What what?" Justin asked walking into the kitchen.

Tonya grabbed her bag.  "Nothing.  Let me go unpack.  You guys should start getting ready, it's already 8:00.  You know we would've gotten here earlier if you didn't insist on stopping every two minutes to get snacks, use the bathroom or eat." 

Ant just smiled innocently.  "Come on Justin..." 

  
~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

The club was small.  Nothing like Babylon, but the guys were hot and just was fucking pissed off at Brian.  

"Hey Jus, you might want to slow down on that stuff." Ant said softly joining Justin at the bar.

Justin just shrugged and downed his drink.  "Want to get shit faced and not think for a while."

He ordered another.

"Give him water." Ant told the bartender.

"Fuck Ant, I'm not two.  I can drink if I want to!" Justin screamed.

"Come on, Jus.  Let's go dance." Ant suggested.

"No, I want another!" 

Anthony rolled his eyes.  "How the fuck did you and Brian last five years?  So he didn't call you.  Big fucking deal!  Get a fucking grip!" 

Justin stood with his mouth agap.

Ant instantly regretted saying.  "Jus I-"

"Shut the fuck up Ant.  You don't understand."  Justin growled taking a shot of whatever the bartender put in front of him.

Anthony held his hands up.  "Fine.  I'm sorry."

"Hey." 

"Ant didn't I just tell you to fu-" It wasn't Anthony behind the blond.  "Sorry." He replied sheepishly taking a drink of the beer he had ordered.

The man just shrugged.  "Don't worry about it.  I'm Art."  

Justin found this hysterical.  "Artie, Art, Arts.  I'm an ArtIst.  Art meet my art."  

Art could only smile at the blond.  "What's your name?"

"Noneya."

"Noneya huh?" 

"None ya business." Justin continued to find this hysterical as Art raised an eyebrow at him.

Justin suddenly stopped laughing.  "Stop that...Brian does that."

"Who's Brian?" Arts hand found it's way around Justin waist.

Justin just shrugged.  "No one, just take me home and fuck me.  Fuck me. Fuck me." He insisted snaking his tongue down the other mans throat.  He went to lean into Art, but found himself falling instead.

"Whoa there blondie.  You okay?"

The blonde shrugged.  "I'm okay.  Fine...fucking fine."  He replied and before long 

there were tears running down his face.

Art propped him up near the bar.  "Umm, look buddy you're a little too fucked up for me."  

"Fucked up...i'm not fucked up." Justin smirked before more tears ensued. 

A few seconds later Ant was by his side.  "Uh, Jus you okay?"

"Okay would everyone stop asking...shit...what did you say?" Justin started laughing again.

Ant shook his head.  "Come on.  Let's go."

"Are you gonna fuck me?" Justin asked trying to be seductive in his inebriated state.  

"I have a tight hole, and a great ass.." He went on rambling.

"Not tonight.  Come on." Ant let a breath out as Tonya made her way through the crowd towards them.

"What's going on?" She inquired.

Ant shrugged as felt the Justin lean heavily on him.  "Justin just had a little too much to drink."

At the mention of his name, Justin looked up.  "Oh hey Ton!" He shrieked.

Tonya gave him a look.  "Hey there Justin.  How much did you drink?"

"You know, you could fuck me if you wanted...you'd just have to wear a strap on.  Why don't we have a threesome?" Justin suggested through a giggle.

"Right.  Time to go home." Tonya helped Justin to stand.

"Home?  I have no home!" Justin howled as they got him through the exit.  "No home, no home."

"You have a home." Ant reasoned as he tried to manuever Justin so he coud open the door and still help Tonya keep the boy on his feet.

"Nope nope nope." Justin sing songed.  "Brian doesn't love me.  You know he didn't call me." He laughed as Tonya buckled him in.

"You know we are never allowing you to get drunk ever again if this is how you are."  

Justin continued to laugh.  "Not drunk...i'm not drunk.  I took - I took-" He was hysterically laughing again.

"Justin, what'd you take?" Ant asked as he drove.

"A B C D E E E..." He sang.  

"You took E?  How much?" Tonya was concerned.  Sure they all did the occasional drug or two, but with Justins state of mind who knew.

"You know Brian sang that the night we met.  He took E.  E E E E...Lots of E." Justin went on. 

Tonya rolled her eyes and was never more relieved to hear Anthony anounce their arrival. 

  
The two helped Justin out of the car and before they made it to the door, Justin was spilling the contents of his stomach onto the sidewalk.

"Come on Jus." Ant led Justin through the door.  When this proved to be more difficult then he thought, he picked the blond up and threw him over his shoulder.  True Ant wasn't much taller then Justin, but carrying him would be much easier then trying to get a drugged and drunk Justin upstairs.  

Tonya unlocked the door and held it open as Ant put him on their bed.  

When Ant was sure he had passed out for the night he joined Tonya in the living room.

"What the fuck was all that about?" Ant asked dropping down next to the girl.  

Tonya took a breath.  "Brian."

"Just because he wouldn't return a fucking phone call?  That's kinda...I dunno.  You're the therapist."

She shrugged.  "Justin won't really open up to me.  Though that's not surprising."

"So you said you think Brian's cheating on him?" Ant went on.

"I called his phone.  A woman answered.  He's not returning Justin's phone calls.  It kinda makes sense." 

Anthony sighed.  "Yeah but, I just...If Justin is so caught up on this why doesn't he just go see Brian?"

"I don't know.  There's more to the story then we know."  

  
~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

Justin woke up and wanted to rip his head of his body.  Everything ached and when he sat up, the room started to spin fast.  He sighed and laid back down, but from this position the spinning became faster.

Groaning he forced himself to sit up and immidiately regretted it as he darted to the bathroom and emptied his stomachs contents into the toilet bowl.  After flushing the mess away, he rinsed his hands and threw some water on his face before searching for anything that would stop the insistant pounding in his head.  He spotted a pain killer he wasn't allergic too and took it before deciding to make an appearance in the kitchen. 

  
Tonya was up and making breakfast the only sound was the Ant's faint snoring from the couch.

"Hey!" She greeted brightly.

He held a hand up.  "Shhh, my head might explode."

"Oh you'll be fine." 

Tonya was too fucking happy in the morning.

"Food." She put a plate down in front of him and he gagged.  

"Coffee and maybe a butcher knife so I can cut the top of my head off." He whispered.

"That's what you get for taking what was it A B C D E E E  and lots and lots of alcohol." She smirked setting a mug in front of him.

"Shh..and did I really say that?"  He asked.

Tonya nodded.  "Among other stuff."  

"Do I even want to know?" He took a sip of the black liquid.  

She smiled.  "Well you asked if Ant wanted to fuck you because you had a tight hole and a great ass.  Then you wanted to know if I wanted to fuck you with a strap on and may have mentioned something about a threesome."

Justin felt himself become redder with every word she spoke.  "Sorry." He mumbled.

"No need to apologize hon.  You also said you didn't have a home and that Brian doesn't love you." 

Justin shrugged and picked up his coffee.  "I'm going to take a shower."


	11. Chapter 9

  
Author's notes:

All the medical stuff about the DNA test is made up.  

* * *

"Brian, you have a call line 1.  Dr. Masterson." Cynthia poked her head into his office.

"Thanks Cyn." He replied quickly picking up the phone.  "Kinney." 

"Mr. Kinney, this is Dr. Masterson.  I have the results of your parternity test.  Can you and Ms. Connors be in my office by 3:30 today?"  

Brian thought for a moment.  He was suppose to have a meeting at 3:15 with Remson.  After much negotiating and an apology from the man, he agreed to take the company back on as clients.  

"Yes, we'll be there." Brian agreed and hung up.  "Cynthia!"

Cynthia popped in again.  "Brian."

"Handle the Remson meeting for me." 

"What?"

"Remson.  I need to take care of something, so you're going to have to go to the meeting."  He replied handing her the file.  "Now go review and be ready to meet at 3:15." 

Cynthia agreed and took the file.

As soon as she was out of the office, he picked up the phone and dialed.  "Hello?"

"Yes, is Elizabeth Connors available?"

"Speaking." 

Brian took a breath.  "This is Brian.  The results are in.  Can you be ready by 3:30 today?  I'll pick you and Marissa up."

"Ah, sure that's fine.  Let me give you the address." 

"I have it if you forgot."  

"Right, right... uh okay...well I'll see you then."   
 

~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

Brian wouldn't admit it out loud but he was anxious to hear the news.  It seemed so surreal until now.  Like it was happening to someone else.  Now as he sat in the doctors office it really hit him.  He could have a daughter.

"Mr. Kinney?" 

He looked over to the sound of the voice.  It was Marissa.  

"Yes?"

"Do you wanna be my daddy?"  Marissa asked innocently.

The question forced Brian to freeze for a second.  "Um..."

Elizabeth noticed his discomfort.  "Marissa, why don't you come over here and sit with me until Dr. Masterson comes in?" 

Marissa shrugged and ran over to her mother.

Brian sighed out of relief that he didn't have to answer the question.  He didn't know how to answer the question. 

"Good afternoon." Dr. Masterson hustled into his office with a file.

Brian suddenly felt his mouth go dry.

"Well, first of all let me start by saying that we ran the test several times and they have less then a .01% chance of inaccuracies."  

"Please, Dr. Masterson just tell us." Elizabeth said in a shakey voice.

"Alright, as I said we have performed the test several times.  I have the results right here." He told them holding up an envelope.  "They are sealed from the lab and I have not reviewed them nor have they been viewed by anyone in my office.  That being said, lets see what the outcome is."  He stopped, opened up the results and studied them for a minute.  "Mr. Kinney and Ms. Connors it appears that Marissa's DNA biologically matches to the both of you.  So it can be concluded that you, Ms. Connors and you, Mr. Kinney are the biological parents of Marissa."

Brian was in shock as he looked over to Elizabeth.  She had silent tears streaming down her face.  
   
Marissa looked confused. "Does that mean that Mr. Kinney is my daddy?" She asked.

Elizabeth wiped her eyes and turned towards Brian.  "Brian?" 

Brian couldn't find his voice.

"Do you two need a minute?" Dr. Masterson asked. 

"No, uh...I have to go.  I have...a...meeting.  I'm sorry." Brian replied hastily taking his wallet and throwing some money at Elizabeth.  "Can you call a cab?  I'm...I have to go."

  
~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

Brian walked into the loft quickly throwing off his suit and stepping into the shower.  He let the hot water cascade over him and sighed.  What a mess his life was.  Really.  A big fucking mess.  

He wanted to call Justin.  He really did, but he couldn't.  Not now.  Justin had a life.  Friends. A career.  Brian knew that the minute Justin found out what was going on, he'd be on the first plane back to Pitts without a second glance back at New York.  He couldn't do that to the boy - man.  

The water started to run cold, and Brian reached for a towel after trning off the water.  He was on autopilot as he fixed his hair and got ready to head out.  

Not knowing exactly what to do, he walked into Woody's and spotted Michael and Ben right away.

"Hey boys!" He greeted as he made his way to the bar and returned to them with a beer in hand.

"Brian!" Michael exclaimed jumping up and hugging the taller man.

Brian smiled and hugged back.  "Mikey.  Professor."

Ben raised his drink.  

"So where's everyone?"

"Ted and Blake are at Babylon, we're joining them later if you want to go and Emmett and his new beau decided to go away for the weekend and still aren't back." 

Brian nodded and took a drink of his beer. 

"How's Justin doing?" Ben asked.  

"Fuck if I know." Came a curt reply.  

Michael gave him a look.  "Don't you talk to him?"

"He's got his life.  I've got mine." 

"But, Brian - "

"Fuck - I don't want to hear about him!" Brian screamed slamming his bottle back on the table.

"It's okay to miss him." Michael continued as if he didn't hear Brian's out burst.  "You love him and it's okay to miss him."

Brian got up. "I don't need this shit Michael.  Stay out of it.  We're done.  Justin and I, okay so just fucking drop it!" 

"What happened Brian?" Michael pressed.

"Michael..." Brian warned.

Ben wrapped an arm around the shorter man.  "Michael maybe you should - "

"Fine.  It's just you were going to get married." 

"Were being the key word.  Were.  We aren't.  We never will.  He and I are done.  There is no more Brian and Justin.  Just Brian period.  Justin period." Brian replied realizing it was a mistake to go out at all.  He turned heel and walked out of the bar.


	12. Chapter 10

"You okay?" Ant asked from the drivers seat.  Tonya was sleeping in the back of the car.

Justin shrugged.  "Sure."

Anthony nodded.  "I'm sorry for... you know...this weekend.  It's just...I'm worried about you.  I'm worried that...Justin you're...this isn't healthy.  I...it's just a phone call.  One stupid phone call.  It's not the end of the world.  I'm sure he'll call you, he probably just got busy.  However you...yeah...Justin this...you shouldn't be...this depressed over one phone call."

"You don't know anything about it Ant." Justin forced himself to stay calm.

"I'm just saying maybe there's something else going on with you.  Maybe...you know Tonya...she knows people...maybe she could...you know...maybe you should think about talking to someone.  A professional." Ant suggested.

"Stay out of it." Justin growled through clenched teeth.

"Or if you're so worried about it, why not just go back to Pittsburgh.  Go see Brian." 

"Ant i'm not saying it again.  Stay out of it!" 

Anthony nodded again and they fell into silence.

Justin sighed and let the movement of the car lull him into sleep before the harsh ringing of a phone brought him back.  "What the fuck is that?  Is that my pone?"

Tonya gasped and searched through her purse until she found the noise offender.  

"That is my phone!" Justin screeched watching Tonya hold it up.  

"I picked it up at Sun.  I was going to give it back to you..." Tonya whispered handing it to Justin.

"You've had my phone all weekend and are just giving it back to me now.  Brian could have tried to call!" Justin practically screamed.

Tonya took a breath.  "Justin calm down.  You're not doing anyone any good by getting upset."

"No!  You are not practicing your psycho babble on me.  You aren't going to do it!" 

"Ant pull over the car." She demanded.

"But we're on the freeway.  You can't-"

"Just do it!" She screamed.  Ant stiffened and did as he was told.

Once they were on the side, Tonya leaned forward and placed a hand on Justin's shoulder.  "Justin you need to calm down.  Okay?  It's a phone.  It's just a phone."

"No!  Tonya!  I'm not one of your fucking patients!"

Tonya gave Ant a look.  Justin was getting way too upset over a phone and a phone call.  

"Jus, take a deep breath." Ant tried to help.

Justin was starting to panic.  "I...I..."

"Shh...Justin.  Shh..." Tonya tried to sooth as she slipped out of the backseat and opened the front door.  

Ant started to put a hand on Justin shoulder.

"No!  Don't!  Just don't touch him." She said sternly.

"Justin just breathe.  Like this.  In and out.  Slowly." She instructed, but Justin was only panicking more.

"Fuck, Ton it's not helping." 

"I know Ant." Tonya did the only thing she could think of and grabbed Justin's phone, connecting it to Brian's line.

It rang several times before the machine picked it up. "You've reached Brian Kinney.  Leave me a message."

Tonya took a breath.  "Brian!  This is Tonya, one of Justin's friends.  If you're there pick up.  Brian!  Pick up the damn phone!"

"Yeah?" A voice asked shocking Tonya.

"Brian, Justin's having a panic attack.  I can't get him to calm down." She almost cried into the phone.  Three and a half years of schooling to be a psychologist and she couldn't handle a panic attack.

"Put the phone up to his ear." Brian instructed an she did so.  

"It's there Brian!" She screamed.

They noticed Justin starting to calm down and he took the phone from Tonya's hand and held it himself.  

"Brian why didn't you- fuck!" Justin exclaimed.  

"You okay now?" Tonya asked, tentatively putting a hand on Justin's knee.

"Yeah, I just.  I haven't had one of those in a long time." He replied as he took a shakey breath.

Tonya nodded.  "What did he say to you?"

Justin shrugged.  "Stuff he use to say when-" He stopped himself.  Anthony and Tonya had no clue about the bashing.  

"When what?" Anthony asked softly 

"Nothing.  Let's just go." Justin answered feeling exhausted.  Brian had hung up on him.  He didn't want to admit it, but Brian was making it clear that they were over.  It hurt too much to think about it.  

Tonya didn't move.  "Justin?"

"Guys.  Let's just go.  Okay?  I'm okay.  I guess I'm just a little upset over Brian.  That's all." Justin pleaded.

Tonya sighed and got up, resuming her place in the backseat.  Ant opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it and pulled back out onto the highway.


	13. Chapter 11

Brian was furious. How dare Mikey? What gave him the fucking right? He went to grab a bottle of Beam when the phone started ringing.

"Fuck Mikey. I'm not answering it!" Brian screamed at the phone before he heard a panicked voice fill the loft.

"Brian! This is Tonya, one of Justin's friends. If you're there pick up. Brian! Pick up the damn phone!"

"Yeah?"

"Brian, Justin's having a panic attack. I can't get him to calm down." She was practically hysterical.

"Put the phone up to his ear." He didn't care about anything else at that moment as he went into gear to try and get Justin to calm down.

"It's there Brian!" She screamed.

Brian took a deep breath. "Justin, Justin. It's Brian. You are okay now. You are safe. Just concentrate on breathing. Slowly. Pretend I'm right there with you. My arms around you. You are safe..." He trailed as he heard Justin's breathing start to even out. "You're okay now Sonnyboy."

"Brian why didn't you-" Brian didn't want to hear the rest of that question. Didn't want to go there. He quickly disconnecting the call.

_Fuck_! Justin was having panic attacks again. Probably because of him. _Shit_. For a brief moment he thought about coming clean to the blond. Letting him know what was really happening. But then something stopped him. He couldn't. Just couldn't.

So he just sat for a long time staring. Not really feeling anything.


	14. Chapter 12

With a sigh, Justin threw his bags on the floor of his apartment. Tonya and Anthony had kept a close eye on him the rest of the way home and had repeatedly asked if he was alright. Justin had wanted to scream.

He let out a groan and as if on cue his cell started to ring. It was Daphne.

"Yeah?"

Daphne let out a little chuckle. "Is that anyway to greet your best friend. Asshole."

"Sorry Daph. It's just been a hell of a weekend." Justin shrugged throwing himself down onto the couch.

He could almost hear her nod. "Life in the Big Apple getting you down?"

"Nah."

"Brian trouble?"

Justin pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Jus?"

The blond just sat there breathing.

"What'd he do?"

The artist shook his head. "Nothing."

"Then what?"

"It's what he didn't do." Justin huffed.

"And that would be?" The brunette pressed.

"Daph." Justin warned. "Drop it."

"Justin. No."

He sighed again. "He came up a couple of weekends ago."

Daphne laughed. "That all?"

"He came up at one in the morning and pretended like nothing was wrong even though there was something. Then when he left it was almost -" He paused.

"Almost what?"

Justin hesistated for a second. "Almost as if he were saying goodbye. For good."

"Like a brea-"

"Don't say it. I can't even think that right now."

"Then go see him." Daph suggested.

"What?" Justin leaned his head against the back of the couch.

Daphne sighed dramatically. "Come home and see him."

"It's not that easy." The blond argued.

"Why not? All you do is get on a plane."

"Daph-"

Daphne laughed. "You act like it's such a big obstacle. Just fucking do it. Claim your man."

"I-"

"You are coming home. Tomorrow."

Justin sat for a few moments. "I have no where to stay."

"Jeff and I have plenty of room at the apartment." She told him.

More silence greeted the brown haired girl.

"Fine." Justin agreed.

"Good. Tomorrow. E-mail me the time your flight will come in."

"Fine." He shook his head as he hung up wondering what the hell he was doing.

Two hours later he was booked on a flight, had washed his clothes and was in the process of re-packing.

He looked at the clock. _11:30 pm_. His flight was at 9 am. Shaking his head, he stripped down to his underwear, set his alarm and crawled into bed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin woke up with a start to his alarm and for a moment couldn't figure out why he was getting up at 5 am. Then he remembered. _Fuck_ Daphne, the phone call, Brian. His head hurt thinking about it.

He went through the motions, got up, took a shower, brushed his teeth, shaved, grabbed his bags and was out the door before 6:30.

Before he knew it he was sitting on the train heading towards JFK Airport with a cup of coffee and his bags.

_What the hell was he doing?_   



	15. Chapter 13

The insistent ringing of his phone was driving Brian crazy.  

"What?"  He barked into it.

"Umm...Brian?  Brian it's Liz.  I...oh my God Brian...Brian..."  A hysterical cry came over the line.

Brian stood up from his computer.  "Wha?  Elizabeth calm down.  Tell me what happened."  

"Oh Brian.  Oh my God.  She's gone.  I don't know - one minute - Brian you have to..."

"Who's gone?"  Brian had a sinking feeling.

"Marissa."  Elizabeth was almost screaming over the phone.

Brian felt himself go numb.  "What happened?  What do you mean gone?"

He heard Elizabeth take a breath.  "I was in the park with her and I turned around for one minute. One minute and she was...she....she was..."

"Did you call the cops?"  Brian demanded, already slipping on his shoes and grabbing his keys.  

"Yes, they came...they're here...I just...I don't-"   

Brian was already pulling on his shoes.  "Where are you?"

"I'm...i'm..."  

"Take a breath and tell me where you are."  Brian demanded pulling open the door.  "Are you-"  He stopped immediately when he saw what was on the other side of the door.  "Liz, she's here."  He quickly disconnected the call.  

"Hi." Came a soft voice.

Brian bent down to meet the little girls' eyes.  "Marissa, what are you doing here?"  He asked softly.

She shrugged before tears started streaming down her cheeks.  

The ad man pulled her to him.  "What happened?  Your mommy is worried." 

The little girl just continued to sob into his shoulder.  

A strange feeling came over Brian.  This was his daughter, she was his.  At this moment he didn't care that she was sniffling and crying into his Armani shirt, or that she was at his apartment at all.  The only thing he cared about was that she was here, safe and in his arms.  It was something that terrified and made him proud at the same time.

"I...I...I just....I just..."  She sniffled.

"You just what?"  He prodded gently lifting the five year old into his arms and carrying her inside.

"I just..wanted to see...my daddy."  She said in between sobs.  

Brian sighed and place the younger girl on the sofa while he went and shut the door.  He grabbed a bottle of water out of the fridge and went into the bathroom and grabbed some Kleenex.  

Walking back into the living room, he took a seat in front of the little girl and unscrewed the cap off the bottle.  

"Shh, drink some water."  

The five year old took the bottle into her small hands and carefully took a sip. 

Brian dabbed her eyes with the soft paper.  "Everything better?"  He gave a small smile.

Marissa nodded and hiccupped.  

"Now, tell me.  Why didn't you ask your mommy to bring you here?" He carefully brushed her brown hair out of her face.

She hiccupped.  "Mommy said...she said you...we wouldn't see you again."

The brunette man felt his chest constrict.  "What?  Why would your mommy think that?"

"Cuz she said you didn't love us.  Why don't you love us?"

He took the bottle from her.  "I don't know you very well.  I can tell you I care about you very much."  He was surprised that came out so easily, but realized it was true.  Brian really did think he was falling in love with this little girl sitting in front of him, with swollen eyes and red cheeks.

"Okay."  She smiled.  "I'm tired."

Brian smiled back.  "Come on.  You can take a nap on my bed until your mommy gets here."  

Marissa nodded and allowed the man to pick her up and lay her on the bed.  She fell asleep almost immediately.

~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

Sometime later a pounding came from the door.  Brian quitely put down the beer he was nursing and got up from the sofa.  

"She's here, she's safe, everythings okay."  He whispered as he softly slid open the metal.

To his surprise and shock it was Elizabeth on the other side, but a blonde with tired eyes and dishelved clothes on.

"Hi."  The blonde breathed.

Brian got over his shock.  "Justin."


	16. Chapter 14

Walking off the plane, I take a deep breath. It's been a while since I've been home. I head out towards the terminal and immediately spot Daphne and her boyfriend. I gave her half a smile as I make my way towards her.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself." She smiles and grabs me into an embrace.

A throat clearing breaks us up and I turn towards the sound.

"Oh! Jus this is Jeff. Jeff this is my bestest friend in the entire world, Justin." She giggles.

Jeff sticks his hand out and I take it. "Hey."

"Hey." Jeff nods.

Daphne bounces over and throws a hand around each of our waists. "Let's get your bags."

 

~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

Justin took a breath as he slid into the backseat of Jeff's car.

"So, going back to the apartment to let him unpack?" Jeff turned to Daphne.

Daphne shook her head. "No, we're taking him to the loft. Corner of Tremont."

"What?!" Justin bolted forward as Jeff started onto the highway.

"You need to see him sooner or later. Might as well be sooner." The brown haired girl reasoned.

The blonde held up his hands. "No, no, no. Not going to happen. Jeff go to the apartment."

Jeff looked to his girlfriend.

"You do it and I swear, little Jeffy will not be happy." She shook her head.

"Sorry." Jeff gave an apologetic shrug.

Throwing himself back into the seat, Justin huffed and crossed his arms.

Daph grinned. "Don't pout."

"I'm not pouting. I'm pissed."

"Sure honey." She patted his knee. "Almost there."

About twenty minutes later, Jeff was pulling up in front of the building.

"We're here!" Daphne exclaimed with a smile, pushing her door open.

"Yipee." Justin rolled his eyes.

The brunette yanked open his door. "Come on love."

She was already pulling off his seat belt.

The blonde groaned. "I hate you."

"I know." Daphne grabbed his hand as he stepped out of the car. "We'll be back in a minute Jeff."

She walked him to the door and waited for him to dig out his old key.

"Okay." He said in exasperation.

Daphen shook her head. "You're not getting rid of me that easy."

Justin rolled his eyes and let them both into the building. "You gonna walk me to the door?"

She nodded and pushed the elevator up button. "Let's get going."

The friends got into the elevator and rode up together in silence. Justin becomming more filled with panic until finally the it stopped.

Daphne was out first, followed by her friend. She gave him an evil grin, knocked on the door and then bolted down the stairs.

Justin felt excitement and fear mixed together when he heard the metal start to slid on its base.

He heard Brian's mumbled _she's here, she's safe, everything's okay_ before the world seemed to fall apart and stand still at the same time.

"Hi." Justin breathed.

"Justin." Brian stood in shock.  



	17. Chapter 15

The two just stood there for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes.  

"Can I come in?"  Justin managed out.

Wordlessly, Brian moved out of the way and let the blonde pass.  

"What are you doing here?"  Brian asked, sliding the door shut.

Justin shrugged.  "I don't really know...I mean...I don't know."

"Uh huh." The brunette responded as he moved to stand in back of the counter.  He moved to where he was standing in front of the blonde sitting at a bar stool.

"Are you alright?" Justin ran a hand through his hair.

Brian shrugged.  "Fabulous, dazzling."  

"Then why the hell haven't you answered my calls?!" 

"Busy, busy." He replied sarcastically.

The younger man heaved himself off the stool.  "To busy to call me.  To let me know you're safe!  To just, fucking, to just tell me you're still here!"  

The brunette looked to the bedroom to make sure Marissa was still sleeping.  He didn't want Justin to wake her up, but didn't want to have to explain his visitor either. 

"What?" Justin asked when he realized Brian was no longer looking at him.  He turned around to see where Brian's line of sight was.  "There's someone in there.  Isn't there?"  

Brian shook his head. "What?  No."

"There is!  You have a trick in there!  You have a fucking trick in there that you're afraid I'm going to wake up!" He exclaimed starting to make his way to the bed.

"Wait!  Justin, it's-" Brian took off after the artist.

"Wake up!  Wakey, wakey!" Justin was fuming.  "Wake up you fucking...little girl!" 

The blonde was shocked.  <i>What the hell?</i>

"What the hell?"

"Justin...I-"  Brian couldn't finish his sentence before another knock came at the door.  "Go sit on the sofa."  He took the blonde's arm and led him to the living area before answering the door.

"Oh God Brian!  I was so scared!"  A woman whom Justin had never seen before entered the apartment.

Brian nodded.  "She's here.  She's okay.  She's napping.  It's alright Liz."

Liz nodded too and wiped the tears that ran down her cheeks.  "Thank God."  She threw herself into Brian's arms and sighed in relief.

"She's in the bedroom.  Why don't you go check on her?"  Brian suggested, extracting the woman from him.

"Okay, okay." Liz nodded again and headed towards the bed.  

"Care to explain?" Justin was pissed.

Brian closed his eyes and wondered when the hell Justin got to his side. 

"Didn't think so."  The artist blow out a breath.  

Just then, Liz with Marissa in arms headed towards them.  "Thank you so much Brian!"

Brian nodded.  "No problem.  I'm just glad she's alright."

Liz smiled slightly and Brian opened the door for her.  

"You know, any time Marissa wants to see me...it's okay."

"I'll keep that in mind."  She smiled wider and kissed Brian on the cheek before making her way into the elevator.

Justin shook his head.  "Who are you?"

"What?"

"Who are you?"  The blonde took a breath.  "I leave for a little while and come back and you have this whole different life.  I come here and you have a young girl sleeping in your bed for fuck sake!"

"You make me sound like a fucking child molester.!" Brian was getting angry.  "It was your decision to leave!"

"My decision?!" 

Brian knew he crossed a line.

"Who's decision?  You, Lindsey, my mom, the whole God damn family suggests, no tells me to go.  To live my dream in New York, when everyone knew that I was perfectly content to marry you.  That that's what I wanted!" 

"You got on that plane.  You went to New York.  Ultimately it was your choice.  Don't you fucking dare put this on anyone else."  Brian growled.

Justin sighed and almost slumped against the wall.  "You're right.  I got on the plane.  I went to New York.  You didn't force me onto the plane.  And you wouldn't let me be happy either.  You know...maybe New York was it.  Was my fantasy.  But you, you were everything.  Our relationship was everything to me.  Why couldn't you see that?"

Brian could only look away.  

"I guess you still can't."  The blonde turned and walked out the already open door.  

The brunette, if only for a moment, wanted to run after him.  Instead he shut the door and thought maybe for the first time in his life he couldn't control everything.


	18. Chapter 16

Justin walked, and walked and then walked some more. He didn't really know where he was going.

Just that he'd know when he got there. It wasn't like he expected to be greeted with declarations of Brian's love but he certainly didn't expect things to become so fucked up so fast. Then to top it off the little girl Brian was harboring and her mother. What the hell? Who were they?

The blonde couldn't think straight. Couldn't make sense out of the many scenario's that ran through his head.

Breaking him out of his trance, was the ringing of his phone. Glancing down he saw it was Tonya.

"Hey."

"You sound cheery." Tonya said sarcastically. "Where are you?"

Justin shook his head. "You wouldn't believe me."

"Try me."

"Pittsburgh." He breathed.

He heard Tonya laugh. "Pittsburgh?"

"Yup. Your brilliant cousin decided to coherce me into coming back." Justin really wished he had a ciggarette handy.

"How'd Daph do that?"

Justin shrugged. "Doesn't matter. I'm here."

There was a pause. "Did you see him?"

The artist nodded. "Yeah."

"And?"

"Nothing."

There was another pause from her end. "There's something you should know."

"More good news?" He smirked biting back tears.

"When you left your phone at Sun...I kinda...well..." She trailed.

"What did you do?"

Tonya sighed. "I...I, umm, I called Brian."

Justin felt his blood run cold. "What!?"

"A girl answered. Justin I thought I had the wrong number. But I didn't. I think that...well Ant and I..."

"Wait! You and Ant?!" Justin felt his sobs turn into anger.

Tonya took in a breath. "Justin we think he's cheating on you!" She didn't mean it to come out the way it did.

The artist stopped. "What?"

"We think that maybe-"

"He's gay." Justin dead panned.

Tonya didn't know what to say. "Okay. I'm sorry."

Justin sighed. "I'm sorry too. It's just...it's been so...I don't know what's going on. It's

just things are really fucked up."

"when are you coming back?"

The blonde shrugged. "I don't know."

"What about the show?" She asked gently.

He shrugged again. "I don't know."

"Okay. Just hang in there, hon. Call me if you need anything."

Justin nodded. "I will."

Somehow he made it back to the loft. He debated on what to do next. Something inside him pushed him into the building and up the stairs. He grabbed his keys out of his pocket, grateful that he had kept the loft key, and opened the door.

Brian was sitting inside taking his frustrations out on his work.

"If this is how it's got to happen, then so be it." Justin threw his keys down onto the counter and approached the older man. "At least then I'd know where we stand."

"You're still here?" Brian asked with an air of arrogance.

Justin felt his blood pressure rise. "Fuck you! You know that? I love you! I love you! What the hell is the matter with you!?"

Brian shook his head. "Things are fucking different now! You know that! So why don't you just go back to your life, go back to your friends and go back to New York! Get the hell out of my life!"

Justin didn't know what to say. "It's her." He whispered.

"Who?" Brian sneered.

"That woman. That little girl. It's them." Justin continued to speak softly.

The ad man ran a hand through his hair.

"You and her. You chose them. Who are they? Why?" The blonde was afraid to speak any louder. Afraid his voice might break and he'd end up sobbing.

"I..." Brian knew that he should tell Justin everything. End his pain. But he didn't know how to say it. So he did the only thing he could do. He made his way towards the smaller man and pressed his lips to Justin's.

After a moment he felt Justin respond and pretty soon the kiss turned heated. Brian grasped the hem of Justin's shirt and riped it over the boys head as he felt Justin working at the buttons of his shirt.

In a matter or seconds Brian had Justin's jeans and underwear in a pool at the younger man's feet and was guiding him towards the nearest object. In one swift motion he had the blonde man bent over the counter and his own pants around his ankles and a condom in hand.

In a matter of seconds he was slamming into the blonde who was letting out low moans onto the marbel top. He trailed kisses up and down Justin's back, as he pumped in and out of him.

Brian felt the blonde on the edge and rubbed his stomach.

"Shh...just wait. It's okay." He breathed.

Justin could only pant in response.

Brian pulled out one last time before plunging deep into the smaller man. This sent Justin over the edge with a whimper as Brian filled the condom several seconds later.

They both stood like that for a long time. Justin breathing heavily onto the counter, Brian resting on his sweaty back.


	19. Chapter 17

  
Author's notes:

It's short.  I know.  School and two jobs is kicking my ass...next chapter is the big one :) 

* * *

Justin felt incredibly vulnerable from his position and quickly but gently moved out from underneath Brian.

The older man stepped back and pulled up his pants, watching as the blonde carefully, almost shy, did the same.

"Are you hungry?"  Came a whisper.

Justin ran a hand through his hair.  "Brian."

"I can order Thai.  Or there's a new Chinese place that opened up..." Brian went on as if he didn't hear the younger man.

"Brian."  The blonde said more firmly planting himself in front of Brian.

"Justin..."  The brunette trailed, almost warning him not to say anything else.

The smaller man closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Brian.  "Just tell me."

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin, and just held him.  

"Please."  It was a whisper.

All the ad man could think to do was hold Justin tighter.  Resting his head on the blonde's shoulder, he let out a shuddering breath.

"What?" Justin continued to whisper as he rubbed his hand up and down Brian's back.

Brian didn't want to let go.  Just wanted to stay that way and not have to face exposing all his shit for Justin and then eventually all their friends.

"Shh...just...don't say a word."

So Justin did just that.  He didn't know how long they stood there holding one another.  But he would stand there, with Brian, for however long he needed.  

Before long, Justin felt Brian start to slightly shake with every breath he took and realized that the older man was crying.  It was a shock because Justin had never really seen Brian cry before, ever.  He storked his hair and kissed the side of his head, and just waited until Brian was ready.

"I'm...I..." The brunette stuttered as he pulled away, quickly wiping his eyes.  "I'm going to go take a shower."  

Justin watched his retreating back, determining if he should follow him or not.  Not won out.  The blonde knew that Brian would need some time to himself.  Instead, Justin concentrated on starting dinner.  

Peering into the fridge, he found some Guava Juice, a few apples, some bottles of water and some beer.  Shaking his head, Justin left a note for Brian informing him that he was going to the store.  

~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~~-~-~

Brian stepped out of the bedroom with a towel wrapped around his waist to a silent apartment.  For a moment his heart stopped as he figured Justin had left again and this time he wasn't coming back.  That was util he saw the note and found himself able to breath again.  

This was going to be a long night.  No more hiding behind anything.  Brian thought he might throw up from nerves.  He wasn't use to openly discussing his problems.  But now Justin was going to find out.  He was going to know.  And he was going to leave.


	20. Chapter 18

  
Author's notes: Okay I lied about chapt. being longer.  But damnit Brian and Justin were being stubborn!  Enjoy :)   


* * *

Justin tried to think of anything but what was going to happen when he got back to the loft.  He had been in such a hurry to get out of the grocery store, but now he just wished that this was all some weird dream.  That he'd wake up next to Brian and they'd laugh about it.  But it wasn't.  This was real life.  

He hoisted the paper bag higher up as it started to slip.  He couldn't remember what he had bought, the only thing he knew was that there was food in that bag.  

Justin had been in such a daze that he was on autopilot in the store, grabbing whatever.  

As he rounded the corner of Tremont and the apartment building came in sight.  The artist found his legs not working.  His brain told him to go, but for some reason his body didn't want to respond.  

After long minutes, he managed to get himself into the building, on the elevator and in front of the loft door.  

Taking a deep breath he tried to gather himself.  This was no time to fall apart.  He needed to do this.  First he was going to make dinner, then they were going to talk and hopefully it wouldn't be as bad as he dreaded. 

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Brian flinched only for a second when he heard the door slide open.  He didn't even bother to look up from his computer.  To afraid that Justin might see the fear in his eyes.  For fucking sake Brian didn't do fear, he didn't know fear, he didn't do any of the things he found himself doing.  All because of the blonde man standing in his kitchen.  He bit back a smile as he thought about him.

"I got some stuff to make chicken salad." Jutin said, trying to keep his hands busy by pulling things out of the bag.  

Brian nodded.  "Sounds good."  He kept staring at the blank screen in front of him, realizing he had been trying to come up with a copy for his pitch for Remson to no avail.

They stood in awkward silence for a while, the only noise filling the loft was the clinking of kitchen utencils from the kitchen and an occasional typing sound.

"Umm, where do you want to eat?"  Justin asked Brian, almost timid.  

Brian felt a weird emotion arise.  The blonde was never timid around him.  Always calling him on his shit.  "Where ever."

Justin nodded and motioned for the taller man to follow him to the kitcen table.  

They ate in thick silence.  Neither one of them really hungry, just finding the bottom of the plate fascinating.  

After about twenty minutes, Justin stood up and Brian followed suit.  Both depositing the dishes into the sink.  Justin wanted to wash the dishes, but knew that he was just stalling.  So he let it go and went over to the sofa and sat next to Brian.

"You okay?"  Justin asked.  Brian knew he wasn't just asking about right now.

He nodded.  "Dazzling."

The artist wanted to snap at the sarcasm, but decided against it.  He opened his mouth but Brian beat him to it.

"I didn't think you'd come back again." 

The artist nodded.  "I know.  You never do."

"So why did you?" Brian couldn't bring himself to look into the blue eyes.  

Justin gently place his hand onto Brian's face and guided their eyes to meet.  "Because I love you.  I love you."  

"But why?  I'm selfish.  A prick.  I fuck who I want when I want no matter the circumstances.  I'm fucking-"

"Don't be a fucking martyr.  Because you aren't getting rid of me that easy." The blonde said gently.  "You know you are none of those things.  Sure you may like to have sex, who doesn't?  But as for selfish.  You would give up your own life for Gus or Lindsey, Michael or Debbie.  You'd-" 

"And you." Brian said shyly.

Justin stopped.  Trying to absorb what Brian had just said.  "What?" It wasn't quite a whisper.

Brian cleared his throat.  "I said you."  

The artist didn't know how to respond.

"You think I don't care about you.  That I don't love you." Brian started.  "I do.  This isn't about that.  This isn't about me not loving you."

Justin's mouth fell open.  "Then what?"

Sighing, Brian really wanted a drink.  "It's about...Fuck Justin, it's about you living your life. Your dream.  Being able to be what you want to be where you want to be and when you want to be.  You lost your life the day you met me.  I knew that.  I knew that night when I fucked you, that things wouldn't be the same for you.  So go...just go back to New York." He said the last part firmly.

"I don't accept that.  You can't just dismiss me like that.  You can't-fuck Brian, when are you gonna get it?  When are you gonna pull your head out of your ass and see that I'm here?"

They sat in more silence for what could've been minutes or hours.  Neither one was keeping track.  

"Who was she?" 

Brian had to strain to hear it.  "What?"

"Who was she?  That little girl."

"Does it matter?" 

"To me it does." 

The ad man sighed, knowing that this was it.  He closed his eyes, not wanting to see Justin's reaction.  "She's my...daughter."  

When he didn't get one, he looked over to see the blonde sitting very calmly.  "Okay."

Brian continued to stare at him.  

Justin breathed in and turned towards the brunette.  "Okay."

"What?" Brian was a little taken aback by his answer.

"How long have you known?"

Brian shook his head.  "A month or so."

The blonde closed his eyes again.  "Why didn't you tell me?"  When he got no answer he repeated himself.  "Why didn't you tell me?"

The taller man shrugged.

"I...don't even know what to say here."  Justin couldn't think.  He had so many questions, but knew that this was probably the best he'd get out of Brian at the moment.  

He picked up his bag and headed towards the door.  Brian felt his whole being go numb.  This was it.  This was the part where Justin walked out on him for good.  

Justin turned towards Brian and saw a hint of fear in his eyes.  "I'm...I'm...I'll be back tomorrow."  He promised.

Brian nodded.

"I'll be back tomorrow.  Get some sleep, okay?" Justin nodded back.  "I love you." He added as he gently slid the loft door shut.  


	21. Chapter 19

  
Author's notes: _Sorry it took so long.  I'm in the midst of midterms right now.  Also for those also reading The Real Thing.  I haven't forgotten. I've just been so super busy! :)*_  


* * *

Justin sighed and threw himself onto Daphne's couch.

He had taken the long way and the half hour it took to get to her apartment actually turned into three hours.  He was trying to clear his head, but it didn't work.  

"Hey."  Came a sleep filled voice.  It was Jeff.

Justin felt slightly embarassed.  "Sorry.  Did I wake you?"

Jeff shook his head.  "No.  Just couldn't sleep.  Daphne'll kill me if I tell you, but sometimes she snores so loud that she wakes me up."

"I know." Justin laughed.  "We use to have these sleep overs and I swear the neighbors could hear her."  

"So...we didn't expect you back tonight."  Jeff sat down next to the blonde.

Justin shrugged and they sat in awkward silence for a few moments.  "So, Jeff what do you do?"

"I'm in advertising.  I just graduated from Penn State with a marketing degree."  He answered.  

"Where do you want to work?" Justin didn't know what else to say.

"I applied to Kinnetic."  

"That all?" Justin wanted to know.  

Jeff shook his head.  "No, but it's the best in Pennsylvania if not one of the top companies on the east coast..  I had a friend who interned there over the summer.  They said it was great, but the boss kicks your ass."  

The artist ran a hand through his hair.  Daphne would have told Jeff what his connection to Kinnetic was ahead of time.  Or atleast he thought she would.  "Did you tell Daph?"

"No.  I didn't want to get her hopes up until I know one way or another."  

Justin sat for a moment.  "It was my idea."

"What?" The other blonde man asked.

"When he was just about to launch.  He needed a name.  I came up with it.  Kinnetic.  Two n's like his name."  Justin recanted.

"You know the CEO?!"  Jeff all but screamed.

Justin sat up.  "Didn't Daphne tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

The artist shook his head and closed his eyes.  "Brian Kinney, President and CEO of Kinnetic, is my boyfriend, ex...whatever."

"I'm...if I would have known...I-"  

"I know." Justin nodded.  "It's not your fault.  And you're right.  Kinnetic is the top agency and Brian is the the best."

Jeff nodded before Daphne made an appearance.  "Jeff, Justin?  What's going on?  It's like 2 in the morning."

"Sorry babe, couldn't sleep." Jeff smiled at Justin and kissed Daphne on the cheek before heading back into the bedroom.

"Jus?  What happened?  Why aren't you at Brian's?"

Justin shrugged.  "Long story."

Daphne could tell by his tone not to push like she normally would have.  "I'm sorry." Was all she could offer as she snuggled into him.  

"What's new with you?" Justin sighed running a hand over his best friends shoulder.

The brunette shrugged.  "Jus, I have to tell you something.  Something I haven't even told Jeff yet."

Justin nodded.  "Okay."

"I'm pregnant."  

The artist didn't know what to say.  Children, babies...this subject couldn't stop haunting him.

"Jus?  Say something."  She prompted sitting up.  "Your my best friend.  I wanted you to know first."  When she didn't get a response she pushed him lightly on the shoulder.  "Jus?"

"Brian has a daughter."  

"What?" She asked softly.

Justin shook his head.  "Brian has a daughter.  I don't know how, I don't know when.  I saw her.  

He has a daughter.  And he's been avoiding me."  

"Jus?"  Daphne was at a loss for words.

The blonde stood up.  "I'm...it's great you're pregnant.  I'm happy for you.  I just...God..."

"I know.  I'm sorry this probably isn't the greatest time to tell you.  I just wanted you to know."  She half smiled.  "So Brian has a daughter.  What are you guys going to do?"

Justin shrugged.  "I don't know."

"Go get some sleep.  I'll show you to the guest room." Daphne stood up and led him to the room.

Once in the room, the brunette sat on the edge of the bed.  She didn't want to leave Justin.  She had never seen him look so...so...broken and tired.  In a split second she crawled into bed next to Justin.  He didn't say anything and opened his arms, letting her lay her head on his chest.

"It'll be okay." She promised, even though she had no clue.

All he could do was let darkness take him and hopefully in the morning this would all be one bad dream.  But he knew it wouldn't.


	22. Chapter 20

Justin woke up and at first had no clue where the hell he was.  Then he remembered.  The flight, Brian, Daphne.  He looked around and noticed she was gone.  

Groaning, he sat up and pulled a change of clothes out of his bag, before heading to the bathroom.

Once he was showered and dressed, Justin decided to make an appearance in the kitchen for a cup of coffee and to figure out what the hell he was going to do all day until Brian got home from work.  

"Hey!" Daphne greeted handing him a cup.  

Justin nodded.  "Thanks."  He took a sip and sat down at the small kitchen table.  "Where's Jeff?"

Daphne cleared her throat and sat down opposite Justin.  "Okay, don't freak out or anything.  But Jeff has an interview at Kinnetic.  He got a call early this morning saying Brian wanted to see him.  Something about cleaning house and needing some new employees.  I swear I didn't know he'd applied."

The blonde shrugged.  "Daph, I know.  He told me." 

"He did?  Why didn't he tell me first?"  

Justin shrugged again.  "So don't you have a class or work or something?"

"Nope.  I'm all yours darling."  She smiled wickedly.

"I was thinking about going shopping for groceries...for Brian."  He said softly, remembering that the only thing in his fridge was left over chicken salad.

Daphne smiled.  At least Justin wasn't running back to New York.  "Sounds good."  

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"Really, Justin we didn't need to get this much.  He's a grown man perfectly capable of getting 

his own stuff."  Daphne groaned, re-arranging the bags she was carrying as the elevator neared the top floor.

Justin shook his head.  "He needs it.  All he eats is Thai food or shit from the diner.  I'm thinking of making up a few meals for him...fuck I sound like a house wife..."

Daphne smiled.  She found it adorable.  Maybe this time her friend would pull his head out of his ass and come home.

"So as soon as he gets home-" Justin stopped what he was saying.

"What?  Justin.." She stopped to see what he was looking at.  There was a woman a child at Brian's door.  

Justin gathered himself and stepped off the elevator.  "Hi there."

The little girl smiled to Justin and the woman answered.  "Oh...Hello.  I was just looking for Mr. Kinney."

"He's at work." Justin answered cautiously, pulling his keys out of his pocket.

"Who are you?" The little girl asked from her mothers side.  "You yelled at my daddy."

"Marissa..." The woman warned her daughter.

Justin sighed and unlocked the door, pulling it open.  "I can tell Brian you stopped by." 

"No...no...that's okay.  I just told him I'd bring Marissa over today."  She told him.

The blonde nodded.  "Daph, would you take Marissa..." He waited for the womans nod.  "Marissa into the loft?"

Daphne didn't know what to do and nodded leading the little girl inside.

"I just wanted to know some things." Justin said soft but firm.

The woman shifted.  "Okay."

"A name would be nice."

"I'm Elizabeth.  And you are?"

"Justin."  He ran a hand through his hair.  "Look, Brian hasn't told me much about any of this...you..."

"And I know nothing about you.  Brian hasn't mentioned you once.  But that's beside the point. The point is that Brian Kinney is the father of my daughter.  No one can take that away from her.  Not even his gay.  male.  lover."  Elizabeth shot back.  

The artist was stunned.  "I'm not trying to.  I'm simply saying that I come home and my partner suddenly has this new life, a daughter and you.  Is she his?  Like 100% positively his?"

"I don't have to sit here and answer to you."  

"You damn well better answer to me.  You're fucking with my partner, the man I love more then anything.  The man I almost married.  So you will damn well answer to me." He was in full protective mode.  "So I will ask again.  Is she positively his daughter or is this some sick game you're playing?"

The woman stepped back.  "I'm not playing any games.  She's his.  You don't believe me?  Ask Brian for the truth." She huffed.  "Now would you kindly see that Marissa is looked after until Brian gets home?"

Justin nodded.

"Marissa.  Marissa come out here!"

The little girl came bounding into the hall.  

"I'm going to go now.  You be good for this nice man and his friend.  Okay?" 

Marissa nodded.

"I love you." Elizabeth grabbed her daughter into a hug and released her after a few seconds, before turning and heading back down the stairs.

On her way out she pulled an envelope from her bag and wedged it into Brian's mailbox.  "Take care of my baby."

  
_So this is finished but don't panic.  The sequel will be up very very shortly.  Obviously there are tons of unanswered questions._


End file.
